Action #8 Practicing Democratic Principles

I've been enmeshed in wierd situations at church before, but this one takes the cake.

We are a small, non denominational loose association of under a hundred people, mostly white. Our worship space consisted of an old converted movie theater. We have shared it at various times with a small Dominican church and, at the time this story takes place, an African American church. I've always wondered why the three groups, totaling around three hundred or so, didn;t find a way to combine ourselves into one body, but that's another story.

A group of guys from a local "boot camp" were coming to visit for a service, and to share life stories. These were all guys who had made a long list of bad choices involving drugs and gangs, and who were now deeply committed to changing their lives around. The group was made up of about ten guys of color. Our pastor was able to convince the members of the African American church to join us for this particular service.

We usually open the services with a half hour or so of song, led by the band I'm a part of. Piano, guitars, drums, singers, you get the picture. I play the bass. I've tried very hard over the years to introduce other sounds to the band but the style remains very contemporary, and very white.

The leader brought in a song which was supposed to bring everybody together around the idea that God transcends color. The piece was concieved as a sort of gospel rave up, of the kind stereotypically heard at charismatic African American churches. We went over the song several times that morning, warming up and getting organized for the service. It dawned on me that we were setting up to parrot a style in an inauthentic manner, without respect for the form, to an audience who wasn't going to find it funny at all. The singer's insincere and much repeated James Brown gut bucket shout really just made me cringe. I don't think black people enjoy seeing cheap immitations of black cultural icons played back to them for chuckles.

I spoke up.

"Maybe we should drop the James Brown thi-"

I was shouted down before I could even finish the thought. White privilege is a steam roller.

Sure it's a free country, where we enjoy freedom of speech. But to paraphrase Paul, "Everything is acceptable, but not everything is good." There was much more at stake than just style of performance, or entertainment. The whole point of a service like this is to create an atmosphere where everyone feels welcome, where everyone can transcend themselves and the daily grind. I was faced with a choice: quit the band on the spot, or continue to participate try to influence the group from the inside. I tried the latter.

I'm pretty sure no one intended to come across as condescending, but it was a farce in the end. Our higher purpose was completely undermined. My objections came to nothing.

This experience did confirm some suspicions I had. Action is more powerful than words, sure. However, words have more power than I previously would have given them credit for. They also have the power to divide people gathered around a common cause, and to alienate them from that cause. Having tried words for the purpose of inspiring and watched them fail, I should have taken action.

I have a habit of raising tough questions when I think it's justified. I always try to do it in a way that brings light, not just heat. It's a habit I'll continue to practice. It is my responsibility to speak up for what I believe. It does not always yeild the results I seek, and it is often uncomfortable. As Americans, we don't have the right to be comfortable all the time.

Even though it stings sometimes, it always feels righteous. Sometimes, it even makes a difference.

Action #10 / Effective Teachers

If monkey see, monkey do holds true, then I'll benefit from observing good teachers. This semester, I've been able to do just that in three different settings, and I've just stumbled on another way of doing this:

TEACHER TUBE!

Obviously, this is youtube for teachers. It's a young site, where viewers benefit from participants ideas. Teachers are posting themselves giving lessons or just resource video.

The fact that this site exists is inspiring to me. I can spy on good teachers from afar!

Action #9 / Allies

As a general rule, guys don't enjoy sharing personal feelings. It's not that we don't have them, just that we don't always enjoy talking about them. We often act as if our feelings are not a factor in daily life in order not to have to talk about them.

That said, self reflection is a step toward a healthy emotional life. The next step is engaging personally with a sympathetic person. Sharing personally and regularly with someone sometimes jumpstarts the reflection process while the exchange is happening. Adding a spiritual dimension to the exchange is both rare and spectacularly inspiring.

This doesn't always require long conversations, but sometimes short ones coupled with some kind of action. A hike in the woods, over a beer, any number of possibilites. The activity offers a kind of buffer we can retreat to when the conversation gets too close. Just hike a while at that point, allowing a little processing time. Say more when you have more to say.

I am so fortunate in this regard. I have a few freindships, and some family ties which run quite deep. The exchanges I share with them almost always end up in spiritual territory. It is so good to remember that my interaction with God is not solitary, but has a necessary communal dimension too. When God reflected on all he had made, he decided that:

"It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him."
- Genisis 2:18

I can look my little sister in the eye, and see Him. Now and again I have conversations that I am amazed to be a part of. In those moments, I don't have trouble sharing feelings spritiual, emotional, or otherwise.

I'm fortunate because for me, this isn't rare.