#4 role modeling

In my mind, I'm about 26 in spite of the fact that that hasn't been true for a long time. But I'm living in a gap in my assumptions about my future, which includes not having any idea about what this stage of life would be like. When I was a kid, I felt I had a complete grasp on my immediate future up until age 20, and I had confidence that my old age would be resplendent in the silvery light of a life lived deliberately. The cognitive dissonance is weird: it makes me feel like a grown up. I'm still not used to being called "Mr. Brewer."

I guess becoming a grown up carries with it a burden of other people's expectations. I feel invisible, or at least not at the center of things, and so am always surprised when I find that others are watching. Teachers, who are sometimes grown ups, are constantly being watched. When students address me formally, the point is bluntly emphasized.

“Mr. Brewer,” they say, as I look over my shoulder to see if my Dad is standing there, “why do we hafta recycle?”
“Well, I’m trying to make a clean hand off,” I say, adopting my most grown up, philosophically epic tone of voice.
“And I want you to do the same when your time comes. In fact I want you to take it to the next level.”

Art is materially intensive, and often a bit wasteful, given the requirement of experimentation and exploration are basic features of its practice. Additionally, the traditional materials are expensive, and not often available in the public schools. In fact, we hear more about budget cuts (in some departments anyway) all the time. But artists shouldn’t be too disturbed. One indication of creativity is the artist’s ability to “do what one can with what one has.” For me, modeling resourcefulness is a natural carry over from my punk rock do-it-yourself ethic. If we can’t sustain a budget for paint, we can make art out of the recycle bins, and maybe even what’s in them! I can find a way to be creative with anything. Mind you, this is not new. In 1917, Marcel Duchamp taught us to see beauty in unexpected places, even in common manufactured goods.
“Today, we will be making _______ out of this old _______. This is one way your generation can improve on mine.” They’re probably going to get tired of hearing it, but it grounds our creative practice in real world necessity. And that plugs it into what they already know, meaning they’ll remember it at least until the middle of June.








For my purposes, reusing or repurposing is always better than recycling, because it requires imagination. Kind of like creative art.

#5 active in my community

For about ten years, I’ve been a part of a small, non-denominational church. The predominant values expressed by this particular group are inclusiveness and action. We are quite an informal group, and fairly diverse racially. Never one to sit around long, I responded to the request for help in the Sunday school about eight years ago. During this time, I’ve worked as a teacher with learners up to the age of twelve or so.
The current group ranges from 3rd through 6th grade, and can number up to sixteen or so. It’s split right down the middle in terms of gender and race. This experience has provided irreplaceably valuable experience working with kids both before and now during my pedagogical education.
I bring this up in order to acknowledge the fact that I have acquired some very useful practical skills as an education student; specifically, in terms of classroom management. For instance, this class contains two boys who have been diagnosed ADHD. One is African American, the other Caucasian. Both of them present classic symptoms with one crucial difference: one is very hyperactive, and the other is closer to lethargic. As I have come to know them over the years, they have both demonstrated definite intelligence, and an aptitude for the subject at hand. Before studying education, I had no idea how to reach these two. In fact, there weren’t very many kids in the class I could reach with the methods I was using. I often (read, every Sunday) ended up kicking one kid upstairs to sit with his parents, and spent an inordinate amount of time begging the other one to focus on what I was saying. If the quiet, shy girls sitting in the corner trying not to be noticed got anything out of these sessions, it was by the grace of God.
To use the jargon of educational psychology, I have employed two techniques over that last year with pretty consistent success: proximity, and differential reinforcement of incompatible behaviors. DRI, as its known, occupies the hyperactive boy with an activity (in this case writing or drawing on the board, keeping a record of what’s said in class) that prevents him from interrupting, hitting and shouting so much. My proximity keeps the interest of the inattentive learner when I keep myself animated, and encroaching on his space in a friendly way. Though there is no formal assessment going on In my Sunday school class, I have managed to get them both consistently engaged, which didn’t even look possible before I started experimenting with the concepts learned in my classes.
I have also embraced the Ideas of Jerome Brunner and Howard Gardener concerning multiple intelligence and diversity. I have increased their activity level, strategized in order to facilitate discovery learning, and invited student input and thus empowerment. I’ve read the about and discussed educational theory in my college classes, and actively practiced it in the real world of Sunday school.

As an example, you can see a block tower which I built in the doorway of their classroom. I asked them all to go in and “be careful not to knock it down, or risk my wrath. “ By the time the last one got in, it was a pile of rubble on the floor, and they turned and looked at me, unsure of what would happen next.
“Sorry! We didn’t mean to!”
“Well, fix it! Put it back just the way it was, or I won’t forgive you!” I said, in a dramatic tone.
When they couldn’t do it, I pointed out the difference between the way I handled it, and the way Jesus handles forgiveness, by forgiving them outright, and in addition, helping them to rebuild. The light bulb went on. Learning by discovery and doing!
Becoming active in my church is only the beginning of my becoming more active in the wider community. I have loads of ideas I think will useful both in and out of the classroom. By my example and activation of my students we begin to make our community a place we want to be.

#7 Battery Recharge

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxsOVK4syxU
This really nails it, after all. I heard it out of the blue on NPR a couple of months ago, and it so
inspired me. Just listening to passionate, smart, articulate people talk about what they do is enough to recharge my batteries now and again. It's good to remember your original impetus.

Teaching is in the top quartile of most complex and difficult jobs, and deserves respect. We've all had our share of bad teachers, but the typical across the board dismissal is unwarrented.

I CHOSE this profession!

#1 Experiencing Different Types of Learners

Last year, I had the good fortune of being able to observe and work in a self contained special education classroom in a local middle school for about three months. At the end of my time there, I sat down and interviewed the teacher, with the goal of writing a paper comparing her philosophy with her actual practice. I was suprised to see how unified and pragmatic she was. What I expected was either a burnt out containment approach, or wide eyed optimism. I saw neither. Her practice was proven effective in my mind when a former student, now mainstreamed into the public high school, dropped by for an unannounced visit. He was there to express his thanks to the teacher, and to encourage the younger kids with stories of his success.

The field of special education is firmly misunderstood by the public. When my uncle who has worked in the field for 30 years tells people what he does for a living, they usually respond with something like "Wow, you must be so patient!"
When he tells this story, which I've heard before, he radiates indignance. "No, I'm a highly trained professional, working like a scientist to get results!"
I've heard that account for years, and in light of what I saw in the classroom here, he's right. If the success of the students depended on the emotional state of the teacher on any given day, the kids would likely be in bad shape. Consistency and professionality win the day by setting a calm, determined tone for the classroom.

This kind of work is hard, to put it mildly. The teacher stressed repeatedly to me the importance of finding ways to take care of myself, not neglecting any dimensions. It's suprisingly easy to get to cross the line of needing to recharge yourself so badly that you can't offer a spark to anyone else.

Action #3 / Taking Education Seriously

I love to read. At any one time, I've got several books going. I read manuals, philosophy, poetry, comic books, novels, history, online journals, textbooks, food packaging. I read literary tomes, and punk- rock xerox. I love to read.

What I love about reading is that it inspires me to figure things out by building associations with what what others already know. I'm linking up seemingly unconnected sources, and mixing in my own experiences. This way, I'm not re-inventing the wheel.

More than once, I've stumbled on to critical problem solving details in obscure packages. Bookstacks just beg me for exploration: I often feel like a pirate getting away with treasure. Those "eureka!" moments happen more often if you seek them out. Serendipitously. Go to Goodwill on 50% off day.

I haunt used book stores, resale shops, and every garage sale where I see a stack of books. I dig through them like an addict. It isn't that uncommon to find something by Thomas Merton for a dollar, or a deck building guide for twenty five cents. I can put both of them to good use.

About two years ago, I discovered a book by teacher I used to know. Though I never had a class of hers, she visited and lectured more than once in other classes I had, and she left a good impression on me. This affords me a great opportunity to reflect on her ideas from a different perspective, and compare the two experiences.

I'll probably get to this one over the summer. Meanwhile, I can finish what I've already started. Here's the current list:

Einstein- His Life and Universe by Walter Isaacson.

The Divine Conspiracy- Rediscovering our Hidden Life in God by Dallas Willard

Why I Am Not a Christian by Bertrand Russell

Free Play- Improvisation in Life and Art by Stephen Nachmanovitch

Miracles by C.S. Lewis

Here I am, thinking about what I want when I haven't finished what I have. That's the behavior of an addict.

Action #8 Practicing Democratic Principles

I've been enmeshed in wierd situations at church before, but this one takes the cake.

We are a small, non denominational loose association of under a hundred people, mostly white. Our worship space consisted of an old converted movie theater. We have shared it at various times with a small Dominican church and, at the time this story takes place, an African American church. I've always wondered why the three groups, totaling around three hundred or so, didn;t find a way to combine ourselves into one body, but that's another story.

A group of guys from a local "boot camp" were coming to visit for a service, and to share life stories. These were all guys who had made a long list of bad choices involving drugs and gangs, and who were now deeply committed to changing their lives around. The group was made up of about ten guys of color. Our pastor was able to convince the members of the African American church to join us for this particular service.

We usually open the services with a half hour or so of song, led by the band I'm a part of. Piano, guitars, drums, singers, you get the picture. I play the bass. I've tried very hard over the years to introduce other sounds to the band but the style remains very contemporary, and very white.

The leader brought in a song which was supposed to bring everybody together around the idea that God transcends color. The piece was concieved as a sort of gospel rave up, of the kind stereotypically heard at charismatic African American churches. We went over the song several times that morning, warming up and getting organized for the service. It dawned on me that we were setting up to parrot a style in an inauthentic manner, without respect for the form, to an audience who wasn't going to find it funny at all. The singer's insincere and much repeated James Brown gut bucket shout really just made me cringe. I don't think black people enjoy seeing cheap immitations of black cultural icons played back to them for chuckles.

I spoke up.

"Maybe we should drop the James Brown thi-"

I was shouted down before I could even finish the thought. White privilege is a steam roller.

Sure it's a free country, where we enjoy freedom of speech. But to paraphrase Paul, "Everything is acceptable, but not everything is good." There was much more at stake than just style of performance, or entertainment. The whole point of a service like this is to create an atmosphere where everyone feels welcome, where everyone can transcend themselves and the daily grind. I was faced with a choice: quit the band on the spot, or continue to participate try to influence the group from the inside. I tried the latter.

I'm pretty sure no one intended to come across as condescending, but it was a farce in the end. Our higher purpose was completely undermined. My objections came to nothing.

This experience did confirm some suspicions I had. Action is more powerful than words, sure. However, words have more power than I previously would have given them credit for. They also have the power to divide people gathered around a common cause, and to alienate them from that cause. Having tried words for the purpose of inspiring and watched them fail, I should have taken action.

I have a habit of raising tough questions when I think it's justified. I always try to do it in a way that brings light, not just heat. It's a habit I'll continue to practice. It is my responsibility to speak up for what I believe. It does not always yeild the results I seek, and it is often uncomfortable. As Americans, we don't have the right to be comfortable all the time.

Even though it stings sometimes, it always feels righteous. Sometimes, it even makes a difference.

Action #10 / Effective Teachers

If monkey see, monkey do holds true, then I'll benefit from observing good teachers. This semester, I've been able to do just that in three different settings, and I've just stumbled on another way of doing this:

TEACHER TUBE!

Obviously, this is youtube for teachers. It's a young site, where viewers benefit from participants ideas. Teachers are posting themselves giving lessons or just resource video.

The fact that this site exists is inspiring to me. I can spy on good teachers from afar!

Action #9 / Allies

As a general rule, guys don't enjoy sharing personal feelings. It's not that we don't have them, just that we don't always enjoy talking about them. We often act as if our feelings are not a factor in daily life in order not to have to talk about them.

That said, self reflection is a step toward a healthy emotional life. The next step is engaging personally with a sympathetic person. Sharing personally and regularly with someone sometimes jumpstarts the reflection process while the exchange is happening. Adding a spiritual dimension to the exchange is both rare and spectacularly inspiring.

This doesn't always require long conversations, but sometimes short ones coupled with some kind of action. A hike in the woods, over a beer, any number of possibilites. The activity offers a kind of buffer we can retreat to when the conversation gets too close. Just hike a while at that point, allowing a little processing time. Say more when you have more to say.

I am so fortunate in this regard. I have a few freindships, and some family ties which run quite deep. The exchanges I share with them almost always end up in spiritual territory. It is so good to remember that my interaction with God is not solitary, but has a necessary communal dimension too. When God reflected on all he had made, he decided that:

"It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him."
- Genisis 2:18

I can look my little sister in the eye, and see Him. Now and again I have conversations that I am amazed to be a part of. In those moments, I don't have trouble sharing feelings spritiual, emotional, or otherwise.

I'm fortunate because for me, this isn't rare.

Action #9 / Allies

Two of my neighbors, formerly married, work in the local school system. One as a high school English teacher, the other an office staff member and P.T.O. officer. They both have afforded an interesting view into the interior operations of their respective schools.

The English teacher relates personally to me about his day to day experience. According to these stories, he is pretty well supported by the administration. He seems to get along well with the other teachers in the English department, providing the spontaneous, improvising element.

I can't help but wonder sometimes, if the other teachers see him as a resource or not. The department doesn't seem to spend much time working together. Perhaps there isn't a lot of collaboration because of differences in style. Putting myself in their shoes, I can see why they might not. Would you rely on an unknown quantity, even if he's a very benevolent one? I wonder what the standardized test scores look like in that department?

The other resource I mentioned, working at the local elementary school gives me a lot of hope, at least for the future of that school. She's been there long enough to remember and relate to me what a mess it was before the current principal took over. She describes a very hospitable and cooperatve environment. She also tells me that most of the teachers are in solid control of their classrooms. As a bi-lingual staffer, she works hard to support the principal and the teachers in the building. As a PTO member, she is engaged with the school on behalf of students and parents.

The fact that both of these folks are working toward the same goals of ensuring student success is encourageing. Perhaps there's room for me, too.

Action #10 / Effective Teachers

I feel really lucky to be back in school. I've been away for fifteen years, and this semester has really brought the pot back to boil, so to speak. The whole atmosphere of ideas, from my peers, my professors, and the subject matter has been a key missing ingredient in my life.

This semester, I've had the opportunity to observe in three different classrooms. One was a seventh grade art class, another was a self contained classroom for emotionally disabled students in the same building. The third was in an alternative high school. The teachers I watched and worked with were all very effective veterans. Each one is a good and positive example for beginners like me.

On the first day observing, one student asked, "what are you doing here?"

I replied of course, that I was a spy, there to steal all of her teacher's best tricks, so that I could take them to my own classes and try them out on other kids.

Really, this isn't far from the truth. As I joked with her, I realized that some of my friends who are currently teaching can also function as a resource for me. I count among them two high school English teachers, a Biology teacher working on her Master's degree, and a special education teacher. A wealth of diverse experience!

I resolved to be more deliberate in drawing each of them out about their professions. Little do they know, but from now on, I will be spying on them too. I'm glad I have a decent trench coat and a fedora. I'm headed out into the cold.

Action #2 Politics

I read an editorial in the Elkhart Truth recently by Dr. James Dobson. The article in question was excerpted from a book of his titled "Solid Answers". In it he asserts that,

• right factual information can and should lead to conceptual learning.
• "Obviously, I strongly oppose the perspective held in some academic circles that says, 'there's nothing we know for certain so why learn anything?' Those who feel that way have no buisness teaching. They are salesmen with nothing to sell."

Who acutally believes that there's nothing worth learning? I for one have never heard any teachers express that, even privately. Are we being smeared by someone perpetuating incorrect perceptions to the public? He would say that he is defending his position that memorization of facts is a legitimate form of learning. I would say that it is, but it is only one form. Don't stop there!

It is unhelpful at best to put words in teacher's mouths in a venue such as this. It only serves to deepen the mistrust many have of public education in this country. We as teachers can cicumvent this kind of attitude by building connections with the families of students. We can take advantage of opportunities such as conferences to dispell this particularly virulent myth.

Action #9 / Allies

I've Joined the National Art Education Association. I'm really looking forward to reading the associated journal. I've been out of academic art circles so long, and this offers a realistic update on current thought.

Coming back to college after such a long time, I am just soaking up all the ideas floating around. I relish reading the theoretical stuff, and getting practical experience at the same time. I've connected with an English teacher in my neighborhood who has turned me on to a couple of books I plan on reading this summer. Another teacher I spent time this semester observing gave me no less than five titles about classroom management strategies, ADHD, and more.

Before I came to Goshen College, I was a stay - at - home - dad, which is wonderful, but not very stimulating intelectually. Before that, I drove truck for a living, and let's just say that truckers and related workers aren't always the most curious folk. No wonder I'm enjoying building these bridges!

Action #2 / Politics

Oh yes we did.

I can hardly believe it! We finally elected someone who can represent (hopefully) all of us with authenticity, not just old white guys. For the first time in my voting life, I cast a vote for someone I was really in favor of, not just against someone I thought would be bad for the country. I was so excited! What an honor! It felt like a high priviledge, not a duty.

He's smart enough to place experienced people in key positions where his experience is lacking. He's an inspiring orator, which makes him a good representative for us in the world. As a citzen of said world, that makes me happy. I'm tired of cringing in embarrasment.

I hope he delivers on his idea about education, voiced near the end of the last debate with Senator McCain. There he exposed the false split between reform and funding:

"we need both."

Yes we do. Now follow through.

Action #6 / Not Like Me

Mosaic is a group of teachers, students, and faculty, working on race issues on Goshen College campus and with it's relationship to the local community. Currently we are working on how to bring various speakers to campus, and building relationships with other civil rights organizations in the community.



I'm happy to say "we" because I joined up. I have a small role to play, as a learner and a helper for now. I'm going to watch closely to see how this works, or doesn't work, and carry the useful ideas forward wherever I go.

It will be interesting to see if some of the speakers on the roster inspire thought and action or just a defensive stalemate. My concern is that we lay good groundwork. This can be done in the notices we send out about events, building a context for the speaker to "do their thing." I want to bring light not heat, even though this seems to be the preferred means of some. When people go into a defensive posture because of that though, we will help no one.

Action #6 / Not Like Me

I had to reconsider the story of Saul, the Jew, and his conversion into Paul the Christian in order to unpack the meaning in the name of the weekend seminar I attended in October. His conversion experience happened on the Damascus Road, where he was travelling. He went from seeing to truly seeing in an instant, and it changed him forever. Well, that and the voice of God calling out to him, telling him to change his ways.

Damascus Road is an anti - racist training seminar, often meeting over a weekend, and hosted by colleges, churches, and other organizations interested in working on issues of race in America. Specifically, the weekend is designed to help participants consider how they might join the struggle for equality, and to spur us to action. There were three moderators: two African American Women, and a white man. We were divided into small groups of six to eight, with about eight groups total. The group represented a wide variety of backgrounds, from all around the midwest. The moderators led us in a series of lectures, discussions, and activities which required us to examine our historical knowledge and attitudes related to race.

I've long seen myself as socially progressive to one degree or another, and looked forward to engaging and developing further. I consider this experience to be a milestone. I've heard a lot of critique of the role of white men in history, and a lot of complaints about "The Man" running the show now. I haven't felt like an insider in that structure.

The "white man's burden", and "white priveledge" have proven to be elusive concepts for me before now. The burden is a kind of joke, a crippling, self imposed state of guilt over our bloody history with, well, almost everyone. I resented being made to feel guilty.

"I didn't commit those crimes, and I don't condone or carry those attitudes now, so why is everybody blaming me?"

I thought white privelege was a joke too, coming from a family where my mom once pawned her wedding ring for groceries. "Where is the privelege in that? And what's being white got to do with anything?" As far back as I can remember, I've always thought of all people as equal. I never did see, and still have trouble seeing myself as anyone important whos'e whole existence is one of priveledge. I understood priveledge to mean royalty or something along those lines.

Well, good questions. Over the course of the seminar, I came to the understanding that race is a social construction. When we see that genetically we are so very similar, that is the only logical conclusion one can draw. If it is indeed constructed, then who put our common understandings into motion? Answering that question requires us to answer another - who benefits?

I benefit from being a white guy every day. I never asked for it and I don't feel guilty about it. I'm not to blame for it either. After all, I didn't plant our flimsy collective understandings about race. That said, I'm as guilty as anyone else of abusing the priviledge if I do nothing to help others into equal opportunity.The key for me is to recognize priviledge and to behave accordingly. Thatwouldmean,forinstance,that not everyone grows up believing that "anything ispossible." Most parents probably build this assumption into their kids, without really believing it themselves, having bumped into various invisible barriers over and over again.

My experience with white priviledge in the past has always been all heat and no light. A heaping of guilt has been piled on my shoulders and left there. Blame left me hopeless; the point of the concept of white priviledge is to change attitudes, and inspire action, not shame white people into self image problems.

If I benefit from this priviledge, then I want to use it to for good. I will find ways of undoing whatever barriers I can find. I will learn to undermine flimsy assumptions with facts and context. I will actively seek out the good and celbrate it wherever I find it. I will even look in places and people I wouldn't have before.

I'm an optomist, probably to a fault. I can change myself with a little effort, and humbly seeking His help, instead of waiting to be knocked off of my horse. I could see a little before. Now I see more.

Action #2 / Politics

In 2008, we find ourselves in a historic election cycle. Since the campaigns started up in 2006 or so, I've been waiting for the subject of education to come up. It's been a long wait! The immense challenges we face, such as the war on terror, and the flagging economy, seem to have made education policy a "back burner" issue. Understandable. Meanwhile, the contentious issues that come to mind when we bring up education are not going to resolve themselves just because our political figures are focused on other things.



If education policy is informed by current events and an eye on the future, it is dismaying that we haven't heard almost anything of substance from our two major party candidates. The fact that the last question of the last debate had to do with education tells us a lot about where this issue falls on our list of national priorities. When the moderator for the debate, Bob Schieffer, posed the question, I was excited by the possibility that we might finally get a sense of where the candidates intend to take us.

SCHIEFFER: Let's stop there, because I want to get in a question on education and I'm afraid this is going to have to be our last question, gentlemen.
The question is this: the U.S. spends more per capita than any other country on education. Yet, by every international measurement, in math and science competence, from kindergarten through the 12th grade, we trail most of the countries of the world.
The implications of this are clearly obvious. Some even say it poses a threat to our national security.
Do you feel that way and what do you intend to do about it?

Both Obama and McCain each gave short and very general answers, as they were nearing the end of the time alloted for the broadcast. They each briefly mentioned funding, and the role of government in education. I got a hazy sense that each of the candidates align themselves roughly with their traditional party positions. I didn't expect them to be specific in the little amount of time they had left. Perhaps I'm impatient with the current climate in Washington, and the campaign rhetoric.

Policy polititcs is often more nuanced than election politics, if they can be separated a bit. I hope the incoming administration does take action to complete funding NCLB at the very least. Funding could convert an albatross around the neck of educators into the strong guide it was intended to be.